Confidence...

Here is a question for you Ladies....
What is it that attracts you to a womyn? 
In an informal poll I took, 90% of the wymyn answered - confidence. They want a womyn who is confident in who she is, no matter what she looks like. 

Herein lies the problem....
"I hate my body..."

Even if you have not heard the words said aloud there is still a very good chance that the womyn in your life has thought it. Wymyn, myself included, feel the effects of our body image in our relationships - sometimes with disastrous consequences. 

Most wymyn are raised to think that they have to measure up, but to whose standards? In almost every case, the answer will be "someone else's." Whether it is the insurance ratings, Barbie's figure, the media, or your peers, the answer is still the same.

The insecurity formed by feeling that you do not measure up, starts early for most, sometimes even as early as childhood. When insecurities run that deep, they are very hard to conquer. And those insecurities affect the decisions that are made in our lives. When your self-image is low, all of your decisions are based on self-preservation. 
We hide, do not get involved, and then find ourselves lonely and depressed.

When you can get passed the hiding stage, the insecurities are still there, you just disguise them better. We date whenever the possibility arises. After all, you think, this could be the only womyn that may ever be attracted to you!! Okay, maybe some of us wymyn with insecurities are not that desperate, but you get the picture...

Attention is a funny thing, you want it, because you want to be accepted and loved, but at the same time you're terrified of it because you're going to have to let your guard down, and let someone get to know the real you. 

Some wymyn never get to that point. They meet the womyn of their dreams, move in together, and still insist on having sex only with the lights off. 
Some wymyn may get past it enough to live a 'normal' life in a loving relationship, possibly to one day have childbirth change their bodies into something that they don't like. "How can someone love me when I look like this?" they think. 
Insecurity has reared its ugly head once more...

A compliment can go a long way.
Tell her about the little things that mean so much to you - not just the sexual things, but everything. 
Nobody likes to be taken for granted. Let her know she is appreciated.

The road to building a confident womyn is made up of many many many bricks. Keep stacking them the right way and the road will become easier to travel, and the trip is guaranteed to be worth it!