| Meandering to a
different drummer. |
How do I set a laser
printer to stun? |
| And which dwarf are
you? |
I plead contemporary
insanity. |
| Chaos, panic, &
disorder - my work here is done. |
Nice perfume. Must you
marinate in it? |
| Macho Law prohibits
him from admitting he's wrong. |
Too many freaks, not
enough circuses. |
| I thought I wanted a
career, turns out I just wanted paychecks. |
Can I trade this job
for what's behind door #1? |
| A cubicle is just a
padded cell without a door. |
Stress is when you
wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen
asleep yet. |
| I'm trying to imagine
you with a personality. |
A woman's favorite
position is CEO. |
| I'm not your type. I'm
not inflatable. |
The Bible was written
by the same people who said the Earth was flat. |
| It ain't the size,
it's... no, it's the size. |
Allow me to introduce
my selves. |
| Not all men are
annoying. Some are dead. |
Are those your
eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage! |
| Did I mention the kick
in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me? |
Does your train of
thought have a caboose? |
| Well, this day was a
total waste of makeup. |
See no evil, hear no
evil, date no evil. |
| Suburbia: where they
tear out the trees & then name streets after them. |
If I want to hear the
pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats. |
| A PBS mind in an MTV
world. |
Whatever kind of look
you were going for, you missed. |
| Errors have been made.
Others will be blamed. |
Did the aliens forget
to remove your anal probe? |
| You!... Off my planet! |
If I throw a stick,
will you leave? |
| I pretend to work.
They pretend to pay me |
Sarcasm is just one
more service we offer. |
| This isn't an office.
It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. |
I started out with
nothing & still have most of it left. |
| And your crybaby
whiny-assed opinion would be...? |
Do I look like a
people person? |
