Trueisms

WHAT MEN SAY.	WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN........
"That's women's work"	"It's difficult, dirty, and thankless....and I aint doin' it!"
"We share the housework"	"I make the messes, she cleans them up."
"I'm not lost, I know exactly where we are"	"No one will ever see us alive again."
"You look terrific"	"Oh, please don't try on one more outfit; I'm starving."
"You know I could never love anyone else"	"I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."
"I'm going fishing"	"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
"It's a guy thing"	"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"Oh, don't fuss, I just cut myself; it's no big deal"	"I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."
"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses"	"The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
"It's a really good movie"	"It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and beautiful women."
"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard"	"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"Can I help with dinner?"	"Why isn't it already on the table?"
"You know how bad my memory is"	"I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
"It would take too long to explain"	"I have no idea how it works."
"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear"	really means absolutely nothing; it's a conditioned response.
"We're going to be late"	"Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."
"That's interesting, dear"	"Are you still talking?"
"What did I do this time?"	"What did you catch me at?"
"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing"	"And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
"I can't find it"	"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"I heard you"	"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

True-isms