From advocate.com
By Lisa Eisenbud

“Are you and Mummy married?”

As a lesbian mother, how am I to answer that question from our Children?
Can I explain all the rights her two mothers are forbidden to share?
Can I even explain that to the straight adults who oppose same-sex marriage?
Well, I’m going to try, because I’ve had quite enough of this second-class citizenship.

I am mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more!

Recently I was in my car listening to my favourite talk-radio show. (Yes, I am at that age that when driving, I often listen more to talk radio than music lol.) The guest was a Politician who was running for lieutenant governor in Massachusetts USA. (not the openly gay, Patrick Guerriero.)
The host, a womyn who I know is a gay rights supporter, asked this candidate whether he is for or against same-sex marriage.

“Against” was his short, nonchalant answer.

Of course this certainly was not the first time I heard someone who is against our having equal rights, but at that particular moment in time the universe must have been lined up just right, because it cut right through me. 

It wasn’t just the fact that some politician said he was against same-sex marriage but the context that really got to me. He said “against” just as dismissively as if he was talking about raising taxes or building car parks. 
There, by myself in the car, I found myself shouting at the radio, “Hey, Asshole! You are talking about actual people here, about me, my relationship, and my family!”

It got me angrier that the host just went right on to other things as if her guest had not just personally insulted me and the whole gay and lesbian community.

“I am a voter too!” I continued shouting. (Ok, so I can't vote in the US, but thats beside the point! lol)
If he had said he was against equal rights for wymyn or equal rights for minorities, everybody would have gone as ballistic, including the host. 
It upsets me that we are fair game, and that keeping us second-class citizens is seen as a legitimate position.

“Are you and Mummy married?”
A very legitimate question that our Children have posed at one time or another.

Well, are my Partner and I married? 
We have never had any kind of ceremony— I guess that accounts for our lack of a punch bowl set, gravy boat and Toaster-oven lol. 
We do though, have symbolic rings which we hunted high and low for, and bought together.

We also have more that a few years together. 
In that time we have combined our finances, planned our future together, and were and still are, each other’s support, comfort, confidante, best friend, lover, and we co-parent—in other words, SPOUSE!

“Yes, Mummy and I are married in a way”, I decided to answer our Children.
Then I went on to explain, “There are different kinds of marriages. Some people have union ceremonies, some have weddings, and some don’t have either. What matters is that you love each other and are married in your hearts. Mummy and I are very much, married in our hearts.”

And because it felt like only half an answer I then added:
“In this country, gays and lesbians are not allowed to be legally married. That is wrong, so we are fighting to change the law.”

“What does legally married mean?” was the follow-up question.
Try explaining that to an 8-year-old: tax benefits, inheritance rights, spousal benefits, medical insurance, next-of-kin status…
Sheesh!!

The truth is, legal marriage is really just financial and medical and legal benefits that all committed couples deserve.
Our challengers attach religious meaning and homophobia to what should be an issue of equal civil rights. 

It’s the hypocrisy I just can’t take anymore.
There are those who thinks letting us get married will ruin the “sanctity” of marriage—yet some of these folk have been married two, three, four times!!
The heterosexual divorce rate is 50%, and I recently read an article that the Catholic Church is going to make annulments easier to get.
It seems to me that the “sanctity” of marriage is in quite enough peril as it is, and it has nothing to do with homosexuals!

So what is an angry, frustrated, "legally single" lesbian to do?
I wish I knew - wish someone would tell me how best to get these things changed, but I'm working on finding out!
I am quite happy to shout from the rooftops, go on that radio talk show, and enlist any and all fair-minded fellow Australians to help us - yes, not just me, but US!

I have two missions: to get every gay and lesbian person involved in any way they can, big or small, and to help the heterosexual public understand that same-sex marriage is not just an idea to be for or against—it is their friends, neighbours, teachers, coaches… 
It is actual people and our families.

Now, that is family values....